It's the start of school again...

But, I'm not going. This time last year, I watched as my friends were mostly saying things like "Can't wait to see you!" "2 weeks, roomie!" "when are you arriving on campus?" "Let's meet up when we are back" and most of all "SENIORS baby!" - it was sad to not be apart of that class as I had graduated already. I wasn't sad I had graduated, gotten married and moved on with life, but rather that it all came so quickly and that I wasn't a part of what was going on.

Over the next few weeks, things weren't so bad - I visited as people were now close again and I was happy to be just where I was, even if that was in Daleville, Indiana. Landon and I had a lot of fun having cookouts, christmas parties, and all that goes along with it.

This year is different. I knew fewer people returning to campus and more people who are out doing just what I am doing - working. It is completely different this year as I talk with those same people that last year were so excited about going back about searching for jobs and learning to be happy wherever life has taken us this far.

That being said, I still miss college in many ways. Today, I was running errands for work - buying boxes of paper, a hole punch, binder clips and moving boxes, and at Office Depot I saw 2 girls. They looked about 19. They were buying notebooks, paper, pens, and looked to be dressed up for the occasion - you know, "Hey, let's go buy stuff for back to school!" And then a day was made of it. As I saw the things they were buying I had a sudden urge to buy all of it. I've done that for 15 years every fall, buy new school supplies. I secretly love it and it's one of my favorite things - like buying a trashy, flashy magazine. Yes - in my mind, those things are just about equal excitement - it's very sad. Instead, I continued with my purchases for work and went on my way. But it made me remember a few of my favorite college memories.

1. Sitting at my desk in Swallow Robin my sophmore year striving to write my paper on Women in America. That feeling in my fingers and mind as I look at the keys and try to think of where to start.
2. Walking across campus on a sunny day being able to enjoy the outside. Most of those days were in the summers and I could slowly walk to work or across campus and not worry about being late. Or when I had time to sit outside SR and enjoy the grass, the breeze and all the goodness of the midwest.
3. Running to Handy Andy to buy breadsticks and hurry back to catch an episode of Friends before having to get to class. I remember moving in in '04 and someone saying that Handy Andy was now Circle K but it should still be called Handy Andy. I never called it Circle K - even though that is it's name.
4. Stolls through the Union to visit. Those ladies were my friends and brought so much happiness to my day. But I really should change that - they are my friends. (And this includes Angie too) I miss them and our talks often. I saw Penny the other day and had a long time to catch up. I felt more alive after that than I have in a long while.
5. Walking onto my floor in Swallow and feeling that it was mine. There's too much to say about SR, Alexis, Ashley, etc etc - too much to say.

Those are just a few of the many. This fall is definitely different than last fall, but I'm still the girl that loves the first day of school and getting ready for it. I'm kind of longing for a "first day" of school just so I can go shopping and buy new clothes and everything - too bad that I have to pay for it now.

Maybe I'll just buy a new notebook, a trashy flashy magazine and the new Sharpie pens.